Is it normal to think about suicide? (long)?

I use to have an unhappy child hood but I let go of the past and I think it doesn't effect me how I live today but I question it. I never been the type to cut my wrist or lash out for attention, or make threats to myself I always thought that suicide was dumb. I finally got out of my bad past about a year ago I got married to my best friend and he is military so we live in hawaii, a part of me feels like I did all of this to run away from my old life. It is nice here, I get to see water, trees, no violence no yelling. My husband is kind but never wants to french me no matter how clean my breath is or how many mints I have. He also doesn't like to initiate sex often and I catch him watching porn while im sleeping and porn never bothered me before but I feel insulted, we are newly weds. I tried talking to him about it but it goes out one ear and out the other. His brother lives with us and was making me really unhappy for a while, he never cleans, doesn't pay rent, takes our car when ever he wants, I even had to walk in the rain to work because of my husband never sticking up for us, I tried but I get tag teamed verbally. I have quit my job and dont sleep till 11am than wake up at 7pm. I think about suicide at least 4-5 times a week and than I instantly try to cross it out of mind and repeat that I am happy and this is a better life and I have nothing to complain for. So why do these thoughts cross my mind? I am so unmotivated it sickens me. I want to be more self motivated in life but I don't know how to anymore.